Its 1:00 A.M. No sleep in my eyes so just thought of adding a post.
Today during my conversation with one of my friends i happened to confront that 'me' whom I've always tried to run away from. Those things which are there in the remotest area of my mind, not really thought about or rather feared to be thought about once again stood out as questions demanding an answer from me which i regardless of my wish couldn't escape. once again i had a feel of self ignorance. i don know where my life is going how its going and most importantly why its going. There is no driving force, its spontaneous , at its own speed and with its own direction. i have lost bearings in life or might be i never had them. The start i don remember and the end is not planned.
At times temptations are necessary in life. Temptations such, that to achieve something, to get something what one desires, one works out his/her goals, plans out things in life, is ready to face challenges and hurdles. The going gets easier when ones sure of what he/she wants from life. There is a driving force (temptations) and life becomes so very meaningful. I have no such driving force. If I try and figure out my future my vision is blackened. I see nothing not in the sense that i won't be successful but theres nothing that i badly crave for, nothing that compels me to work for it in life. Those reasons are missing. The push from inside is missing. Its not the hard work that i fear but i do need a reason as to why i m doing what i m doing.
The value of life is yet not estimated. Its set to the default value zero in my system. This is certainly not the way it should be , that i know, but why??? that i don't know. There are things that are vague, i cannot see through and in this vagueness is hidden that driving force. Someone told me that life unfolds its importance to us in its due course. I sincerely hope it enlightens me by the same soon before its too late for it.
