?????

Its 1:00 A.M. No sleep in my eyes so just thought of adding a post.
Today during my conversation with one of my friends i happened to confront that 'me' whom I've always tried to run away from. Those things which are there in the remotest area of my mind, not really thought about or rather feared to be thought about once again stood out as questions demanding an answer from me which i regardless of my wish couldn't escape. once again i had a feel of self ignorance. i don know where my life is going how its going and most importantly why its going. There is no driving force, its spontaneous , at its own speed and with its own direction. i have lost bearings in life or might be i never had them. The start i don remember and the end is not planned.
At times temptations are necessary in life. Temptations such, that to achieve something, to get something what one desires, one works out his/her goals, plans out things in life, is ready to face challenges and hurdles. The going gets easier when ones sure of what he/she wants from life. There is a driving force (temptations) and life becomes so very meaningful. I have no such driving force. If I try and figure out my future my vision is blackened. I see nothing not in the sense that i won't be successful but theres nothing that i badly crave for, nothing that compels me to work for it in life. Those reasons are missing. The push from inside is missing. Its not the hard work that i fear but i do need a reason as to why i m doing what i m doing.
The value of life is yet not estimated. Its set to the default value zero in my system. This is certainly not the way it should be , that i know, but why??? that i don't know. There are things that are vague, i cannot see through and in this vagueness is hidden that driving force. Someone told me that life unfolds its importance to us in its due course. I sincerely hope it enlightens me by the same soon before its too late for it.

life is brittle

Chemistry Between 3 & 8

well i was finally successful in finding a relationship between no. 3 and no. 8. Net surfing didn't help much in this case neither did any neumerological facts. According to my friends i seemed obsessed with 3 and 8. But somewhere in my heart i knew that there did exist a co-relation. My life has given me ample reasons to feel so. my life is highly influenced by this no. 8. I myself am no. 3(2+1) and most of the special people around no. 8. Even the last two digits of my mobile no. are 38.
considering these reasons to be signs i developed my own theory, according to which if we divide no 8 vertically it forms a 3 and a reversed 3. Hence we can say no. 8 has got the traits of no. 3 and also the traits opposite to it.
To conclude No. 3 is incomplete without No. 8 and No. 8 is insignificant without 3.

*(I am not sure if this relation will work for everybody but then this what i could conclude from my sincere observations and experiments)

Gen-T

A month more to go to finally say a bye to class xi...... Class xi was an altogether different experience.Class xi was a crucial year of the transition period of our life (teen age).. From my surroundings what i perceived was that class xi is the class where we experience a major change in our nature, personality and outlook.Well change is the fundamental law of nature and is well appreciated but at times these changes can be disastrous.Its somewhat like drinking the change into oblivion.Well at times such changes are due to the effect of the opposite sex.

Our school is a school with a difference. LKG to class v- the school is co-ed and then after a gap of five years its again co-ed for class XI and XII. I've always heard 4rm my seniors how people change and completely lose it or rather they don have it. My sincere research observation this year lead me to categorize the boys and gals in the following 3 categories.....

1.) In this first categories the girl and boys do not like mixing with each other.There can be two reasons to it. Might be the boys are anti gals and the gals anti boys.The second reason can be low confidence level and a failure to adjust in the co-ed environment.but such students have the tendency to jump in the 2nd or 3rd category(mentioned below) if given a confidence booster.(Its better to be in the second category)

2.)The second category is the best and the ideal one. according to me its the category of "NORMAL" guys and gals. The girls and boys falling in this category actually understand the gist and importance of co-education. These are the people who actually know how to behave in the presence of the opposite sex people .They know how to carry themselves in the presence of each other or anybody.They treat both the sexes equally.These are in actual words fit to be the building blocks of our nation.(not denying that even the students falling in 1st category qualify to this statement but have doubts where the 3rd category studz are concerned)

3.)Last and the least and also the most dangerous.The girls falling in this category have an inclination towards boys and vice-versa . These people tend to forget and ignore the same sex people in the presence of the opposite sex ones. The girls try and cut a sorry figure in front of the boys to gain sympathy and attention. on the other hand the guys flaunt whatever possible to gain the attention of the girls.They are the worst of friends, unfaithful and mean. Its better to maintain a distance from such people.

These categories apply not just to the students in schools but even in colleges.(People grow but there mental level remains the same) My work is done , now its time for you to analyze which category you fall in. :)

DIRECTIONS

Once upon a time ,there was a girl.

Full of life and dreams in her eyes.

Clear about what she wanted from life,

as confident was her every stride.

Big were her dreams,

small she was though.

Clear was her vision to achieve her aim

but some mistakes as she grew left her crippled and maim.

As her naive soul faced exposure,

strong evil winds became her cynosure.

The winds made her lose direction,

causing her to face rejection.

unstable she was and

guilty of doing wrong.

lost she was,

with no one to be a beacon light along.

Then the one in blue unblrella,

showed his beneficence.

Sent an angel,

to fill her life with new fragrance.

This angel came as a friend

who was always there to defend

He opned her eyes and made he realise that,

she had taken wrong decisions in life.

It took her time to reconcile,

and slowly returned her smile.

Everything was normal,

yet not so normal.

Her confidence was shaken up.

The scars etched in her heart,

were an impedement to a new start.

She had lost faith in self

and thus was left withought help.

Peole around had high expectations

but failing in there eyes was her trepidation.

unable was she in reaching on any decision,

as she was standing on a crossroad with no sign post to show direction.

She wondered at the mystery of fact,

that once she was confident of her every act.

Noone around could surface her emotion

so could'nt come up with any solution.

None but she could help herself,

was she well aware of......

.............to be continued( once i get to hear the further story)

JUSTIFICATIONS

JUSTIFICATIONS
due to guilt or love...

We have been taught from our childhood that if "you are right you need not give justification or explanations to others"
I quite agree to it but to some extent, I as an individual cannot apply it in every circumstance, situation or to every person.
If my words, thought, views or actions are misinterpreted by any third person (not really close to), I would stick to my pedagogy that if you are "right u need not give justification or explanation". I would give a damn care to what that person thinks. Here to some extent the ego answers it all. Not that the ego is high but just that the heart and the mind both synchronize to give u a feel that u can't just take any non-sense from anyone (third person).in such case it’s always been a war between right and wrong.

BUT, BUT, BUT .......when this person who has misconstrue u is someone who is intimate to, u cannot help giving justifications and then in that scenario it is not that u are wrong and your guilt compels u to give justifications but just that, you would like to avoid the slightest possibility of misunderstanding will make each and every sincere effort to make that person realize that you were not wrong for there is an apprehension of you falling in his or her eye. You give explanation not because you are wrong but because you love the person dearly. So when someone gives justifications it’s not always that they are wrong but it might be because of love that they attach with you....
Just give it a thought.....might be this is a justification to your justifications.

SATISFACTION

We are never contended with our lives. when i was '11' i wanted to grow old, and act like grow ups. So i didn't enjoy those beautiful years of my life, the way i should have . Now when i m'16' and will be turning '17' in a month. i wish to be 11' again and live a life as a child with no worries no tentions.................
But all this is because i yet havent mastered the "art of living in the moment".....which is a pre-requisite to a happy and contented life when we live in the moment, we fully appreciate what we are, what we are doing at the moment we are doing.......